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Ep#58: Susan Stam wants you to stay with your feelings... just a little longer

What are you afraid to feel? Fear? Sadness? Anger?

Whatever it is, adoptee coach Susan Stam (강선영) wants you to stay with it. And then stay with it a little longer.

Adopted from Korea at the age of 4 years and 7 months to the Netherlands, Susan works as a coach specialising in relinquishment and adoption-related issues with AFC (Adoptee and Foster Care) Netherlands, founded by Hilbrand Westra (our Episode 17 guest!). But the path to becoming a coach wasn’t easy; Susan struggled with her own issues, including a hypersensitivity to rejection so strong that she could "smell it", relationship addiction, and insomnia - issues that only started to heal after she became conscious of her relinquishment and adoption trauma.

In this conversation, Susan talks about her own journey and then shares some strategies for when we feel triggered, for getting out of our heads and into our bodies, for learning to connect to our feelings rather than numbing or pushing them away, and for setting boundaries when you’re a self-confessed people pleaser. And then, Susan catches us off guard by turning the questions back on us, and we both get real about some shit! Get ready for vulnerability, feels, and some super practical tips that we hope you will find useful!

To learn more or to get in touch with Susan, visit:

Bonus gifts from Susan!

Susan’s go-to kimchi jjigae recipe: Susan uses Maangchi’s recipe ( with a few tweaks:

• Always make your own stock!

• Substitute red radish if you don’t have Korean radish or daikon radish

• Use preserved anchovies in oil instead of salt (to taste)

• Omit sugar

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